Know your Man: A Child?

… one day the lady of the house handed her husband his jacket.
“Here,” she said. “Put your coat on.”
Her husband took it obediently. “Okay,” he said. “But am I cold or are we going somewhere?”

As much as most of us are the motherly, caring, protective type, we need to remember that men are not our children. So, ordering them around, reminding them to do their chores, and scolding them as if they were a child will not do. Let’s not assume they will obey our orders.

Here’s an example, and a humiliating one, at that.

Alex and I went to a salad bar the other day. We were sitting in a booth. Next to us, in another booth, were two couples: an older man with a younger woman and another younger couple.

While my son went to get some sodas, I saw that the older man had a T-shirt with sayings that totally agreed with our ethos and ethics. Immediately I went over to his booth, apologized for interrupting the conversation and told him I liked his T-shirt. I went back to my booth and then my son came back. Well, we exchanged some comments about the very issue, both Alex and I and the man sitting in the next booth. Though our exchange was short, we realized that we were both working for a certain university, in different campuses. During that time, the wives were back at the salad bar.

Later, when he and his wife were leaving the booth to go back for dessert, I think, he came to our booth to tell us something about his daughter doing something for this cause that we support. He was in the middle of a sentence, when she yelled something at him; I didn’t understand what she said. At once, he looked at her and, without blinking an eye, hurriedly left us to follow the wife. In mid sentence! And when he came back, he only smiled, a little embarrassed and that was the end of the story.

Now, I ask you: Why would a man do this? Why let himself be humiliated like that? It was obvious he was not flirting with me or anything so her anger couldn’t be jealousy; he was just being himself, I think: a pleasant man who follows a conversation. I just can’t help but think how many Gents out there are in this “submissive” position because they don’t want to confront the beasts they have as spouses… it is either “obey or I will make your life miserable.” Gee. This has to end! They deserve better than we may believe so.

A Word of Advice:

Ladies: If you kind of see yourself doing the same thing as the woman in my story, please, stop.

Gents: if you feel your collar is choking you, growl and bark: Enough! But, whatever you do, please, don’t bite!