Know your Man: Changing Rules

“The more things change the more they remain… insane.” ~ Michael Fry & T. Lewis

“Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." ~ Larry Flynt

First we want this… Then we change our minds and want that… Then we revert to our first position. How are men ever supposed to know what to do?

There is no escape; it is part of our nature: We change the rules just as we please and life becomes very uncertain for our men, for suddenly what was ok last week is not anymore and then we argue when they don’t follow the rules. Let’s be consistent about what absolutely needs enforcement and what we can let go of. And when it is imperative to change rules, let’s make sure they agree with them.

My friend Danny and his wife used to invite several of us, friends, for Sunday brunch. It was always a cause for celebration. After we ate, we would help clear the table and all of us would come right back so we would continue visiting. The time we spent around the table was fantastic. Cleaning the kitchen and washing the dishes was an activity done much later in the day, after we all had had our share of visiting. The pace was slow and we loved the relaxation, until one day, while we were at the table, laughing our hearts out, we noticed she was not sitting with us. She was doing the dishes! My friend went to speak to her and we could hear this big argument because he had failed to help her do the dishes. Now, talk about changing the rules during the game!

I think situations like these are very humiliating for everyone, guests and husband, especially the husband. If she wanted the “clean the dishes” rule changed, she should have followed it herself, instead of having a tantrum in front of the guests, or even better; she could have waited until we left to have a conversation with her husband and give the new rationale for the change of heart and then they would decide in unison what to do about the situation.

Now, looking at the other side of the same coin, another couple friend invited us for dinner the other night. After we ate, he cleared the table and disappeared into the kitchen to do the dishes. When he came back, it was already time for us to go. That means that he missed the whole after dinner conversation. When I asked him why he did that (for it was only when I noticed this habit of his), he told me that this is one of his chores and he has been doing it for the longest time. He’d rather take care of the dishes immediately to avoid nagging later on. Now, could this rule be changed so everyone can enjoy visiting?

A Word of Advice:

Ladies: Please, think a lot before changing a rule that has been enforced until now.

Gents: Never accept a new rule until it is discussed and agreed upon by both parties. Plus, tantrums are a no-no.