Know your Man: Chasing

“A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run. Sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.” ~ Helen Rowland

“And if he is compelled to look straight at the light, will he not have a pain in his eyes which will make him turn away and take in the objects of vision which he can see, and which he will conceive to be in reality clearer than the things which are now being shown to him?” ~ Socrates

Men don’t like to be chased. If we don’t want them to retreat, we should stop chasing them. The more you chase your man because you want something which he cannot give you at the moment, the more he will hide. Accept that and leave him alone.

Give him space. This is especially true when he gets home from work or when there is a problem that he needs to solve. Don’t take it personally if he veers away from you. And, by the way, let’s not keep asking him: “Do you love me?” Men hate that!

I have a friend who was a mother/housewife while her son was very young. She is the type of outgoing person who needs to communicate with people to feel energetic. Being at home every day was too lonesome for her. Now, her husband, on the other hand is the shy type, a quiet guy who doesn’t care much for talking and being sociable. He used to work long hours while getting his tenure at a university. And, as a professor, he was constantly dealing with his students.

Now, guess what happened every time this man got home from work? Yes! She was ready to talk away, for she had been lonely all day and needed the company; he just wanted to be quiet. This situation would not have been so frustrating had she the sense to find other venues to communicate with other people, or had she the patience to wait for him to recoup his energy by being alone for a little while. Problems that we find so complicated need not be so. It is usually just a matter of timing.

A Word of Advice:

Ladies: Give them their space. They will come around sooner than you think. In the meantime, pretend he is not around.

Gents: Tell her you will be back and be firm in giving yourself time for reflection and regrouping. Tell her to pretend you are not home yet, when you are in this mood. It is ok to play pretend. Another word of advice: you must come back!