Know your Man: The Remote

"Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control." ~ Diana Jordan

"Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. One day, some primitive Gents were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food-preparation area. It was exhausting work; the Gents were getting tired just watching. Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders, and they had an idea: They could sit on the boulders and watch! This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television.” ~ Dave Barry

Switching the channels back and forth helps men think about and solve their problems. It also de-stresses them. There is something hypnotic in the motion of clicking and images turning. They are not really paying attention to what is showing; instead, their mind is churning some solution to whichever problem is worrying them at the moment.

Have you ever noticed that in most cases, political cartoons invariably depict a man sitting in front of the TV holding the remote while he makes a comment about some current situation? That explains this whole issue, doesn’t it?

Women have a hard time with men who sit in front of the TV looking lost in space. Just because we might be doing something, it doesn’t imply that everybody else should be doing something, especially our spouses. We should be able to understand that there are rituals that are absolutely masculine and stop bothering about them.

A Word of Advice:

Ladies: When you see your spouse ruminating about something that is obviously worrying him, go fetch the remote and give it to him. He will be forever grateful to you and may even buy you some jewelry.

Gents: Say “When there is something bothering you, you need someone to talk to; well, I need the remote, so let me be. I will come out of this meditative state soon enough, feeling re-energized.” If she keeps complaining say: “I missed you too, honey. Now, give me second, will ya?”