One of the Greatest Souls I Have Ever Met!

I remember the day like it was yesterday, the day I met her! I walked into the store looking for a long lost friend and headed to the back where I first laid eyes upon her. I really didn't know at the time what to say or how to go about saying it. She was incredibly silent; the silence filled the air as those of her acquaintances around her did all the speaking.

I wasn't sure what to make of it. I didn't know if whether she was just shy or maybe she was just having a bad day. But something about her struck a chord in me. I felt as if I had met a friend and not just any friend. Of course not knowing at the time how she felt about me, I knew I had to be a little cautious on how I approached her.

As I walked up to her I grew excited as to how I would ask her out. It was not something I had been used to, so I knew that I kind of had to play it by ear. I remembered all the other friends around her were very outspoken almost to the point I could not keep my attention on her as some of the others were vying for my attention. Yet I sifted through all the muttered words and kept my sights on this wonderful gal.

I was extremely hopeful when I had realized that she accepted my offer and together we left the store not knowing exactly where this relationship would take us. I remember things were not going well for me at all in my life. I had faced quite a few set backs and often times felt like a failure. I had been very ill for quite sometime so working through that was also a great chore. I had to work hard on my temper as I struggled to make sense out of those turmoil's I encountered often in my life, especially the persecutions and slander which seemed to invade me from all areas.

From that moment on this girl and myself began to build a relationship. Although she was still very quiet I knew as the days went on that there was something very special about her. The way she looked at me when I was sad. The times she comforted me when I needed hope where there didn't seem to be any. And most of all how no matter what I went through good or bad she was always there side by side always reminding me that her love would never fail even if everyone else's did.

It was sort of embarrassing at times to think someone could love me so greatly as this when I was suffering with complexes and identity problems. Most everyone else had seemed to abandon me except one other.

Day after day I fought my way through this horrific struggle that I was encountering and each day was the same, she was always there to let me know, no matter what occurs, I will be by your side! Even at times I would grow weary of even her constant attention and I would push her away, yet like clockwork there she was never failing in her love, and instead of that love growing dim by my persistent rejection it actually grew stronger.

I did not realize what she saw in me; I fought over this with great mental anguish and wonderment. Maybe she just saw things in more of a simple light. Maybe I complicated things too much in my life and she was able to see the secret flaws within me, and was able to redirect my attention away from my troubles. Whatever it was she just seemed to know how to make things right again.

Yet those days were still not easy to deal with. My personal life was still providing great problems some of, which seemed unbearable. At times I even felt it was difficult to keep going forward, yet somehow, some way I managed to keep one foot in front of the other. I knew at the time my attitude was not the best and I would often times take my frustrations out on those closest to me, yes and even against her.

Those that loved me the most seemed to bear the brunt of my depressions as I struggled through them with sadness and a feeling of dire loneliness. As the days grew on I would recognize some of the flaws I had and how I became concerned and worried about things that were truly meaningless. I found myself becoming fearful over some of the most ridiculous things and becoming a prisoner of my own fears, and yet there she was day after day, always letting me know that the simple things in life are the keys that we should cherish. All the other things were meaningless and offered no real hope.

Yes she was wiser by far than most others that I had met in this life were. She just seemed to know things internally and even though she may have not spoken of them all the time, I could read it in her eyes. Oh she had a way of expressing her inner hopes and desires.

At times in the evening we would sit down together on the couch and she would rest her head upon me with this assurance of security and protection. I felt so insecure and so lacking in those things that I saw she trusted in me for. But somehow I knew I must not be so bad after-all. For how could one love me as much as her if I was a failure?

This relationship began to grow and as the years rolled on I began to appreciate the beauty of her calmness and serenity. I grew to love her in a way that I was not aware existed. Often we would take walks in the park and just share the simple things with one another. She loved to play games as was her style always seeing the simple things. Happiness seemed to be her inner being. She exuded a trust and love that just seemed to glorify everything about her. Everywhere I went she wanted to be there next to my side. It was as if she felt that she was my protector and not the other way around.

I became more and more confident and was beginning to stand up again and at times she would come to me in my dreams and even share with me her inner desires. I knew this girl had a strong soul one that seemed to be angelic! I had felt a growing love spawning within me that became even apparent to others around me. She taught me how to love again by my learning first how to love myself!

For 12 long years being around this wonderful lady I once again became energetic and positive and I began to follow through with the goal that was set for my life. As I look back now maybe that is why this wonderful gal came into my life from the beginning, knowing I would need a nudge and a push to fulfill the work set for me. That day at the store that I picked her out of a small crowd and asked her to come with me may have actually been the other way around. Maybe the truth is she picked me out of the crowd and I was just picking up her energy.

The years she gave me were wonderful even during the most dramatic years of my life. I had gone from a spirit of hopelessness to total rejuvenation. I had launched the inner core of being to transmute the negative into a successful operation where I began to help others. I began to see once again like I used to that positivism was the key to success. All along the way there she was standing by my side always cheering me on and revealing to me that she knew all along, "I could do it!"

I had finally gotten back on track to where I had once again entered the place of my true work in this world and I had become that which she always believed and knew what it was that I could be from the very beginning. It was then that tragedy struck faster than lightning. My wonderful special girl who kept me alive, taught me love again, gave me energy to believe and helped me believe in myself came down with cancer.

Within days she went blind and then had a stroke. I sat there holding her lifeless body, asking for the spirit to be as generous to her as she was to everyone she ever encountered. I asked that she be taken mercifully so pain would be at minimum. I sat there crying, recalling all the wonderful memories I had with her over the many years. I scratched my head asking why now? Why so soon? Can't I have more time with her?

I wondered to myself as I laid beside her, wondering if I had done everything for her that she had done for me. My pain inside grew and grew as I began to ponder on how much she always gave of herself asking for little in return. She never demanded anything from me and was always willing to take even the smallest things in return.

Yet in that last moment before she gave of her last breath in my arms, somehow I knew that her mission was always one of selflessness. She did not come here for herself; she came here for me. She lived her life in sacrifice so that I could be resurrected in this life to continue on with my work. For I had stopped walking down the road I was first directed on and without her I may have never gotten back on that right track.

Just before passing I remembered the long nights dream I had years prior when I asked her about death. It was in my dream we shared moments that went beyond this earthly world. She had told me that when she passes that she would go to a wonderful world of happiness and blessing. She even assured me we would be back together again. Oh how intelligent this young lady was. Her eyes revealed the true-ness of her soul. For I had never encountered a soul such as this one. It is like she knew of her mission within and in the dream she was able to reveal to me what I could only perceive in the waking moments of life.

As I laid there in tears asking for the spirit's mercy, I felt so selfish and empty. I felt like I took away from her everything, yet in return she gave me all! But at that last moment I was assured in spirit, that her destiny in this world was set to make sure I finished mine. At that moment she passed. In one spilt second her spirit went through the body of my dear wife as my dog Samantha, the beautiful young girl went beyond the veil!

Her love and her angelic power will always be with my wife and I and still even in this life we have felt her presence and I have even heard her speak to me after waking from a dream. With the simple words always proving her absolute trust she said... DADDY!

To my wonderful little girl beyond the veil, Samantha...Enjoy the place of the flowers!

I love You Samantha

DADDY!

Written one year after the death of my dog Samantha!