Osama Bin Laden's Winter Home

For those of you who have been isolated from the rest of the world, Usama Bin Laden is a terrorist.

He is Dr. Death, International.

He sits on a rock at the top of a high mountain and thinks and thinks and thinks. What he is thinking about is this: How can I kill all the bad Moslems and every Non-Moslem in the world so that we can fulfill the will of the Koran that the World has a big sign that even can be seen from space (to preclude Non-Moslem astronauts) that reads: MOSLEMS ONLY!

When asked if Osama worked for the CIA or if the CIA had ever contacted Osama Bin Laden, the CIA said, “No. Numerous comments in the media recently have reiterated a widely circulated but incorrect notion that the CIA once had a relationship with Usama Bin Laden. For the record, you should know that the CIA never employed, paid, or maintained any relationship whatsoever with Bin Laden.” See: http://www.odci.gov/terrorism/faqs.html.

I though you would like to know that. The speaker didn't say what was off the record.

The FBI and the CIA spell Osama, “Usama.” They have to be precise in such things.

Call him what you want.

I call him a cowardly pig that kills defenseless men, women, and children, including his own people, and also small animal critters that may or may not occupy embassies and office buildings.

The FBI and the CIA are out to get Osama.

The reward for his capture is FIVE MILLION DOLLARS.

I intend to collect that reward by telling everyone exactly where he is.

The CIA can hire criminals and other unsavory characters in the search for Bin Laden.

Here is what they said, “CIA officers may now establish a relationship with such individuals without seeking prior CIA Headquarters approval, where there is a reasonable likelihood that those individuals have access to threat information of importance to the United States or its allies. Authority to approve the establishment of such relationships has been delegated to CIA field managers, but provisions to keep CIA Headquarters informed of such decisions remain in effect.” Ibid

“Ibid” means go to http://www.odci.gov/terrorism/faqs.html again unless you already read the CIA statement.

The above is given as a public service to those hardcore individuals that just can’t get hired because of their criminal and unsavory nature. The CIA may have a job for you!

So that we are all on the same ground, let’s look at the CIA definition of terrorism found at the same reference: “The Intelligence Community is guided by the definition of terrorism contained in Title 22 of the US Code, Section 2656f(d):

“—The term “terrorism” means premeditated, politically motivated violence perpetrated against noncombatant targets by subnational groups or clandestine agents, usually intended to influence an audience.

“—The term “international terrorism” means terrorism involving the territory or the citizens of more than one country.

“—The term “terrorist group” means any group that practices, or has significant subgroups that practice, international terrorism.”

Now we know that Lin Laden is just trying to get an audience!

We even know where we must go to BE SAFE from Osama:

HOLLYWOOD!

Following are a few comments out of Bin Laden’s mouth as given to ABC reporter John Miller in May 1998 His hour-long interview with Osama Bin Laden was at his mountaintop camp in southern Afghanistan. The interview took place a little more than two months before Al Qaeda's truck bombings of the two U.S. embassies in East Africa. The reference URL is: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/binladen/who/miller.html.

"The American imposes himself on everyone. Americans accuse our children in Palestine of being terrorists--those children, who have no weapons and have not even reached maturity. At the same time, Americans defend a country, the state of the Jews that has a policy to destroy the future of these children.

"We are sure of our victory against the Americans and the Jews as promised by the Prophet: Judgment day shall not come until the Muslim fights the Jew, where the Jew will hide behind trees and stones, and the tree and the stone will speak and say, 'Muslim, behind me is a Jew. Come and kill him.'"

If you are a Jew, DON’T HIDE BEHIND TREES OR STONES!

Osama, or Usama for FBI and CIA enthusiast, was born to a rich and humble family who contracted with the Saudi Arabian Government to build roads and structures. They had major construction projects in Mecca.

That’s where Osama is now:

Mecca!

I’ve said this over the last couple of years on my web sites but nobody believes me.

Osama tiptoed along the Afghanistan / Pakistan border until he reached Iran. Then he hopped a fishing boat to Saudi Arabia.

From there to get to Mecca was a snap. He rode in a Rolls Royce and was served sis kabob and lemonade.

I was there as a tourist (disguised as a Moslem, of course) when he sprightly hopped out of the Rolls.

He said, “Man, am I glad to be back! In the winter in those Pakistan mountains, it’s colder then a well digger’s butt in the Klondike!”

Now I know that the FBI and CIA are not allowed in Mecca.

You must be a Moslem.

But—I still want my Five Million Bucks?