What are the 5 Phases of Self Empowerment

Our journey in life really begins as a teenager. This is where we start to become a true individual. We develop our own opinions from our own experiences and it's our first step into life on our own.

We begin this journey in Denial. Denial is many things, but I like to think of it simply as we don't know what we don't know. As we move through our later years we like to think we have worldly knowledge, little realizing how little we know. We stop looking to our parents for advice, we think we don't need it. And what would our parents know anyway, they're old!

Denial ends when we start to step up for ourselves and take full responsibility for looking after ourselves. We learn to clean, wash and cook (sometimes).

This normally begins when we leave home, or get kicked out of home by our parents, gently or strongly. Then when we enter the big wide world and get a bit of worldly experience we realize we don't know everything about everything. Denial is a state of fear. We deny what we fear. But fear is just the illusion painted by absence of knowledge. Three hundred years ago people "knew" if you sailed in one direction you fell off the earth. Now we laugh, but so will our children about us in 50 years.

So when we have more knowledge about life we usually (but not always) slip into the next phase of empowerment...

With our worldly experience we then become a sceptic! This is where people have opinions about many things, even the things they don't have experience about. I see scepticism as pre-judging an experience without having the experience.

A classic example is investment in real estate.

Those who have had a poor experience or none at all are often pessimistic about owning investment properties. Whereas those who have many properties, by their experience believe having investment properties is a great thing. Sceptics pre-judge having the property as a bad thing. Fear is what's really talking as logic says there are people who are successful and happy with owning many properties. Fear stops us from seeing the truth, it's denial expressed.

When people are sceptics they often want to "air" their own knowledge telling people what their opinion is. However when they do someone smarter can come along and shoot down the sceptics fear based opinion with facts and proof based on real life experience. This can mean the sceptic realizes they don't know everything and have a lot to learn. When this happens the sceptic slips into the next phase of empowerment, a very distinct phase called... Acceptance.

Acceptance is the phase of empowerment where you just "accept" information on your chosen subject and don't filter it through your own opinions (and fear). Acceptance is where you become a student of your chosen field. If someone asks you for an opinion or a question you answer with, "I don't know I'm just getting started".

Acceptance is a phase that lasts for a few years. You begin your journey with a goal in mind. Normally the goal is to be like someone you know who you consider already successful in your chosen field. It might be mechanical repairs, it could be sales, it could be running your own business, it doesn’t matter. The principle applies to all fields of endeavour.

By setting this goal or aspiration you set a benchmark as to where you want to be. You want to be like the person you first saw as being yourself one day. In acceptance mode, it's like a return to childhood. You just take in information continually without filtering it because when you think you know nothing you can learn everything from anyone.

However, over a few years or more you start to realize you know some things. You've been a great student and have learnt much. However the next phase begins when one day you realize you know much more than many others and that you have a solid depth of understanding comparatively speaking to others in your field. Or, you have gotten close to realizing the goal you stated when you began your knowledge journey. When you start to think you know some things that others don't you've just slipped into the next phase of empowerment I call... Justification.

Justification is just that, it's a phase where you feel a need to 'justify' what you think you 'know' to convince yourself of the merit of your knowledge. There are two ways of doing this, either in preach or teach mode.

The reasons justification is a phase of empowerment is that you need feedback to tell if your knowledge is true or theory. You feel a need to share it with others to see what their response to it is. Preaching is where you try to convince others of your knowledge with emotional attachment to them believing you. You want to prove to others you are knowledgeable.

Justification is where your knowledge becomes your identity as well. You get significance from your acquired knowledge and think you are your knowledge (or industry if you're in business). In sales its where sales people think that because they know all about their product/service they have a right to tell people how much they know about it. Many sales people fall into the category of justification as seen by their need to talk most of the time telling customers how much they know and their opinion.

In "teach" mode it's where you want to help people by teaching them things you know, whether they ask for your help or not. You feel a need to share your knowledge because you are passionate about it.

When people agree with you on a subject you talk about, then you say, this must be true.

Unfortunately justification is a trap. Its where the ego comes out the makes you think you are significant because of your knowledge. Sure you know some things, but have you really reached your potential of highest empowerment? No, because there's another level to go.

What happens is that when you begin your journey of "acceptance" and define your level of success as being similar to someone you looked up to, over the years you start to think you've nearly arrived. In fact you believe that few people can tell you more than what you already know. You think you're at the 98% level of your success and so very few people can tell more on your chosen subject.

However, there is still another level of empowerment. This next level is rarely reached and that's because there is a line drawn in the sand you have to cross to get to it. To cross the line is extremely difficult because to do so to get to the next level you can only do so through removing your ego. The ego is the backbone of justification, as you believe you have earned the right to an opinion.

You didn't get to your level of success without the hard yards, the dedication of learning so it becomes a trap. It’s a trap because the ego wants to attach itself to your knowledge. It wants to make you feel significant by your own success. It says to you, "you have a right to tell people what you know".

To get to the next level its extremely difficult because you can only do so through one thing, personal development.

With personal development you realize you aren't your knowledge, it's a part of you, not all of you. It doesn't define you. When you are in justification you want people to respect you and agree with what you tell them. When you go to the next level you don't need people to agree with you, because you slip into what I call... Quiet Confidence.

Quiet confidence is the final phase of empowerment. It is Mastery. The reason I call it quiet confidence is that you are supremely confident of your knowledge. You become your own teacher and most of all you don't feel any need to "justify" what you know. You know what you know with absolute conviction. That's because you've had the experiences that confirm your knowledge.

If people don't agree with your answer to their question you say that's ok, you need to make your own decisions. In the Justification phase you want people to agree with you and will want to prove you are right in what you say.

The major difference between a person in justification and one in quiet confidence is how much they talk when asked a question. A person in justification will tell you much of what they know, often much more than you wanted to know.

Do you realize that by the question you ask you are also indicating how much you understand on any subject? That's because the more you know the better the quality the questions. I can tell how much a business owner knows instantly by the quality of their question and on what subject it is. I'm sure you know what I mean by your own experiences.

A person in quiet confidence will answer you question with compassion, not ego. They realize you want to get to the next level so they answer it with what you need to know. However, you may miss the power of their answer because they don't feel a need to emphasize their answer like a person in justification does. You'll get a quiet spoken answer, not a long passionate one.

Look at TV and watch the different way presenters interact with people's questions and see what level they are on. People in significance want to look good and talk lots. People in quiet confidence are happy to answer a person's question and wait for a better question.

People in quiet confidence are often overlooked because they don't put on a show. Whereas the person in justification likes to think they have nearly "arrived" and few people can tell them anything, the person in quiet confidence realizes there is an infinite amount to learn and they can learn from anyone and do so.

Who will you learn most from in life? See if you can guess.

People in justification is the answer. That's because they will be out there making a big noise, drawing attention to themselves with their knowledge. But that's okay because they are probably further in front than you and you will learn a lot from them, especially if they are in teach mode, not preach mode.

People in quiet confidence often don't get noticed in society so to find one is a gift. Treasure their time. Don't ask them dumb questions you already know the answer to. They aren't there to feed their own ego so they won't bother with people who waste their time.

When you hit quiet confidence in a field it's called mastery. From there you might retreat and enjoy your knowledge, or you may begin a new journey because your journey is complete.

One final thought, if you think you're in quiet confidence in one area of your life what about the others? Here are a few areas to think about... wealth creation, relationships, health and personal development. I know of people (my mentors who are in quiet confidence in more than one area and they are very special people). Find your own mentors, but remember, people in quiet confidence will only work with people who are good students, are you one?